seniors aging gracefully

Several years ago my ex spouse died of pancreatic cancer. He had been losing so much weight over the course of a year. It got to the point that I forced him to call his doctor again and demand that this be addressed. I should add that he was generally a passive person and just went along with the flow. So what did his doctor do, refer him for therapy with a social worker. Eventually when he was as thin as a rail, he got a CAT scan which revealed that he had a well advanced case of pancreatic cancer. This came as a shock as he was always in great shape, his dad lived to be around 90, and he was generally careful about his health. Later, after his death when I was cleaning out his home, I found a locked closet where he kept his alcohol, there were quite a lot of bottles. I came to realize that alcohol abuse is a contributing factor in this disease and most likely, Michael was a closet alcoholic.

After he got the diagnosis, he eventually came to grips with the fact that he would need chemo. I brought him to the hospital one snowy day in Ohio and by the end of the day, the doctors decided his cancer was too advanced and he would soon need hospice care. To his credit, his cognitive abilities were intact and he quickly got his attorney to work of his will. I believe it took over 6 weeks before he passed, a slow, painful death.

After his death I was left with a lot of emotions but one emotion that I had was anger over his doctor’s failure to act sooner. Why was he referred for psychotherapy when he had obvious extreme weight loss. I had to let it go and use that as a lesson to be vigilant over my health and the care I was receiving from my doctors