As we age we are constantly dealing with death. Not only are we aware that oour time on this earth will come to an end in the future, but others in our lives are also passing. Dealing with the death of a parent is manageable, they hopefully lived a long life and aside from dealing with the funeral arrangements and their belongings, their death is something we can come to terms with. But as we age we may face the death of a spouse or of dear friends. One of the hardest thing to “get over” is the loss of one’s spouse, a soul mate, a best friend.
I have had to accept the loss of friends, my parents, and my ex spouse. But the hardest thing I have had to face in my life was the loss of my daughter. My first born, Allison, hung herself in 2017. Needless to say, I was devastated/crushed. I walked around in a bit of a haze for years. The death of one’s child by suicide is particularly hard to cope with. Not only do you have feelings of grief but you are also left with a sense of guilt. WHY. why did she not reach out to me when she was at such a dark place in her life. And did I fail her in some way as a mother.
As I said, it has taken me many years to come to grips with this loss. One thing that helped was organizing a celebration of life. I realized that she had many friends that also acutely felt this loss. So I organized a celebration of life over Zoom. It was wonderful to have her many friends share with me their stories of how my daughter had impacted their life and how much they missed her. We even exchanged pictures and I keep up with them over Facebook. I still miss my daughter everyday and often cry over it, but I feel her spirit with me as well and that comforts me.
Not to promote myself, but one way that helped me get over the loss of my precious daughter was to include a short story she had written at the end of my book, Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity, see link below to order a PDF version
seniors aging gracefully 
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